Thursday, March 31, 2011


I am an ordinary person with various desires and interests.  Call it morality or decent behavior, those attributes have claims on my life.  They of course interfere with my natural desires of laziness, disinterest and an entire of collection of sins, all things my ordinary self wants to turn from because I deem them "wrong".  I must given these up.  Other things I deem "right" I must encourage and try to manifest in my life more regularly.  I am hoping to get on with my own life and do what it takes.  My natural self is, like all of us, sinful and this is the starting point from which I must grow to live in the life God has planned for me.  How much of myself must I give to Jesus?  ALL of me!  I must have nothing else that matters to me as much as my relationship with him.  I have always told my kids that my husband comes first; he was, afterall, there before they were born, and he will be there after they move out.  Our relationship is paramount to a healthy overall family life.  They understand this as children, and as they've gotten older they understand the importance my husband and I have placed on our relationship.  They are stronger because of knowing we placed a priority on our relationship in order to enhance theirs.  As a child of God, I must learn to place a priority on my relationship with Jesus so it will enhance my other wordly relaitonships.


God is not a God of half measures.  Nothing short of absolute commitment will do.  That requires true devotion and complete surrender.  My disipleship to Jesus costs nothing less than everything.  Nondiscipleship costs the abundance of life Jesus said he came to bring.  C.S. Lewis wrote that he was "surprised by joy" when he converted to Christianity.  I want that kind of surprise in my life daily.  I was raised Catholic and never really understood what it meant to have Jesus in my life.  As I grow, or at least attempt to grow, as a Christian, I am understanding that I need to have a truly devotional and surrendering heart in order to become close friends with Jesus and be able to hear what he is trying to teach me.  I can't expect him to speak to me if I am not willing to listen.  I need, and want, to be able to surrender my daily life to Jesus, even on an hourly basis.  I want to remember he is standing next to me every second and is able to bring change into my life if I am willing to change.  I need to control my life in a Christian manner.  I am finding Christianity hard.  Not because I am being persecuted, but because I don't think I live my life in a manner in which I would be persecuted.  I want my "proudness" of being a Christian to be evident to everyone I encounter.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


These two verses have been running around in my head the past week.  They both have to do with studying the bible and why it's important to do so.

Study this book of instruction continually.  Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it.  Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.  Joshua 1:8

All who reject me and my message will be judged on the day of judgment by the truth I have spoken.  I do not speak on my own authority.  The father who sent me has commanded me what to say and how to say it.  And I know his commands lead to eternal life so I say whatever the father tells me to say.  John 12:48-50