Thursday, March 31, 2011


God is not a God of half measures.  Nothing short of absolute commitment will do.  That requires true devotion and complete surrender.  My disipleship to Jesus costs nothing less than everything.  Nondiscipleship costs the abundance of life Jesus said he came to bring.  C.S. Lewis wrote that he was "surprised by joy" when he converted to Christianity.  I want that kind of surprise in my life daily.  I was raised Catholic and never really understood what it meant to have Jesus in my life.  As I grow, or at least attempt to grow, as a Christian, I am understanding that I need to have a truly devotional and surrendering heart in order to become close friends with Jesus and be able to hear what he is trying to teach me.  I can't expect him to speak to me if I am not willing to listen.  I need, and want, to be able to surrender my daily life to Jesus, even on an hourly basis.  I want to remember he is standing next to me every second and is able to bring change into my life if I am willing to change.  I need to control my life in a Christian manner.  I am finding Christianity hard.  Not because I am being persecuted, but because I don't think I live my life in a manner in which I would be persecuted.  I want my "proudness" of being a Christian to be evident to everyone I encounter.