Monday, May 21, 2012


Each day I face many challenges. I don't want to consider these endless opportunities to worry, stress out, feel regret or heartache. I wish I could easily see the overflowing blessings in my life. I struggle to do so just as much as the normal person does. I'm not prone to depression but I do feel anxiety at times when things are out of my control and in the hands of people I no longer trust. I challenge myself daily to change my perspective for just a moment of reflection so joy can push away the pain and usher me closer to the loving arms of God. For he knows the plan he has for my life and he does not wish any harm to come to me. His gift of grace and mercy is a daily gift, available to me constantly, every morning and each night, present in every moment of my life. I don't deserve it but God gives it to me anyway. I want to spend the next 365 days counting my blessings. I know most people start at the beginning of each year, but this is a cornerstone for me. I've made it 6 months without my husband at my side. I didn't thinkI could make it 1 day. I will make it the rest of my life as long as I look ahead and don't dwell on past mistakes, pain and heartache. I need to remember to laugh out loud at the absurdities in life and allow my moments of pain to transform into memories of pleasure. Each pain I experience will bring me closer to the pleasure God has planned for my future. I'm almost 50 so I'm no spring chicken, but I will endeavor to hope that upon my last breath I will have lived a happy life. I have no regrets in marrying the man I married. It just wasn't meant to last forever. I thank God for my new life's beginning. I hope my stories from this point on be filled with wisdom, forgiveness, mercy, hope and humor. Every day is a gift, directly from God. I don't want to waste his time any longer.

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